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The Mississippi Lawyer Winter 2016 23 derful thing because as you rebuild it you can choose and reprioritize what you put back in and with whom you choose to spend your time. You can experience freedom from secrets and shame. Today I am calm loving kind and rested. I now participate in my own life. I am fulfilled in my work and am forever grateful for my relationships both old and new. Life in recovery is not full of lamentations or mania . . . the people I have met through LJAP and AA are full of life humor and substance. And just like me they are beautifully scarred. My Double-Life In the summer of 2010 I was work- ing for a law firm in Mississippi. At this point in my life I had been abusing sub- stances for almost 12 years and was fall- ing deeper and deeper into the dark world of addiction. One day I finally concluded that life was simply not worth living any- more. That same day before I could act on my thoughts a partner of the firm I worked for called me into the board room. I thought I had everyone fooled about the double-life I had been leading but upon entering the boardroom it became appar- ent that the subject of the meeting was me. Instantly I knew the jig was up. The partner graciously confronted me about my suspicious behavior. In what seemed like the first time in a long time I was honest about what was going on with me. Without hesitation my intervenor took me to a treatment facility for detoxifica- tion and I was admitted as an inpatient the same day. I could not have imagined at the time that I would be sober from that day to present day more than five years later. I was also unaware that on the same day the partner called the Lawyers and Judges Assistance Program LJAP and informed them that he believed I needed help. Thereafter LJAP called me and asked me to contact them. Within a week of finishing detox I called LJAP and scheduled an appointment. I kept that appointment and the LJAP staff asked me to commit to a monitoring contract to maintain accountability and suggested that I be evaluated. Upon being evaluated I first learned that I not only had a substance abuse problem but I also was suffering from an untreated mental illness bi-polar disorder. I must admit that initially it was difficult to accept this diagnosis. Regardless LJAP saw to it that both my mental illness and substance abuse problems were addressed. First I began treating with a mental health professional to address my men- tal illness and working with a therapist on the issues that I was facing and that contributed to my addiction. This process took a great deal of effort acceptance and surrender on my part however after two years everyone was amazed at my prog- ress. In fact at one point my psychiatrist stated that she had never witnessed a case as severe as mine make such a dramatic turnaround. Not even I could believe the astounding positive changes which were occurring in my life. Secondly LJAP recommended that I be treated for my substance abuse and get involved in a twelve step program. Thus I enrolled in a ten 10 week Intensive Perspectives from MS Lawyers Continued on next page POINTS OF DISTINCTION Focused A singular long-term value-driven investment philosophy Rational Thoughtful investment selection Responsive Exceptional client service Committed Our money invested alongside yours Proven History of investment performance Call us at 601-982-4123 www.medleybrown.com